Bak tuu skool
by SoraPsycho
Summary: A herp derpy story of the Organization going back to school.


(A/N: Hi there, aliens of the internet! I am actually REALLY psyched about this because I get to do tons new P.O.V.'s (If any of you have ever read the first chapter of Life In Demyx's Eyes you should know, that means point of view.) And no, I'm not trying to get ride of LIDE, I love writing it, so if any of you heard that rumor, don't be scared, it's not true. Expect The (Un)Expected, is a little story about...you know what, I'm not going to ruin the surprise for you! All I'm going to say is, it's an /other antgonist/protagonist mixup, and it's one hell of a ride, so hold on tight. Also, it may be a BIT like LIDE except I change POV every chapter and sometimes, within the chapter. My only advice to you is Expect The (Un)Expected!...Good luck!)

Chapter 1: Bak tuu skool!

**POV: Xemnas**

****

_THE XEMNAS REPORTS_

A hectic day as usual, things are going...somewhat normal, if you count the fact that Axel lit Zexion's head on fire AGAIN...than it's a more normal day than usual. I mean, when is Axel not setting the poor pygmy's head on fire? Oh well! Next topic!

It was a warm summer's day...not that I would know, Vexen's season machine has malfunctioned and he has yet to come fix it. I ordered him to make it so it would show us seasons, rainy or windy days, nighttime, daytime, instead of that drab, black, red and blue sky all the time...where was I?

Ah, yes. It was a warm summer's day when I went out front to go get the mail. And to my surprise, I recieved a letter that said that the staff at our school education system has "in-adequit teaching skills". At first I was confused so I went to our school and then I realized...it must be the fact that we have books with history even _I_ don't know, abusive teachers, school bullies (Larxene), no proper exercise class, and something they serve in the cafeteria...Saix makes it...I don't know what to call it...a mutation maybe? It walks. It laughs at children. It's actually quite rude. I don't know what it is, but it sure isn't food. He is a terrible cook, that's why I let that sadistic bastard Xaldin make the food...dumb desicion, eh? They can't read these things, right?

****

"Saix, gather everyone for a meeting!" I yelled to the blue-haired man. He nodded in response and ran off. I made my way to the meeting room. I HAD to tell everyone about the letter. Twenty minutes later, everyone was in the meeting room, waiting for me to start the meeting.

"Good day everyone!" I said encouragingly.

"What is it Mansex? Can't you just tell us something that we don't care about, already? I mean, you know we won't listen, we won't care, and if you give us instruction, we're not gonna follow it, so make this quick will ya'?" Oh yes, I would expect such kind words from Larxene, but you know what they say, expect the unexpected.

"Oh, trust me, you'll want to hear this. Today I've recieved a letter telling me that we don't have a good education system and...well...let me just read it to you.

_Dear Mr. Xemnas A. Wagner,_

_We are disappointed to inform you that your school system, the TWTNW High School, has been rated as a very poor school system and we are sorry to say that your staff have in-adequit teaching skills. This school is doing poorly and we would like to help._

_That is why we are sending the staff and principal to a high school where they can be taught how to be proper educators. We don't_-" I stopped short as the whole room gasped in unison. I must have not read the whole letter! How could I let this happen? I can't go back to high school! I'm thirty-two!

"What? How on earth? I am NOT going back to high school, I hated it there!" Yelled Zexion.

Slince came from Lexaeus, nothing but an slight grunt.

"Ah, high school...the best seven years of my life." Laughed Xigbar.

"This is an outrage!" Vexen shouted. "I am a proffessor of very complicated and intellectual studies, I have no buisness going to high school!"

"Yes, that may be so," I replied, "but according to this letter, you suck at teaching. Studying, teaching...two WAY different things."

"Hey wait a minute!" Xaldin intervened. "That letter said that the PRINCIPAL, which is YOU, ALSO had to go on this little "field trip"."

"Yes, and unless you all want to be fired, you will too. So that means that Xigbar through Saix, you will have your bags packed and ready to go by morning."

"Superior," Saix piped up, "a few questions, if I may. First, how long will we be gone?"

"Well that depends. It says in the letter that everyday we will have a special test to see if we've truly learned anything about teaching or cooking,*glare* in a high school. So I suppose until you lazy asses figure it out." I better pack for a LEAST a month then...

"Okay, second, where are we going?"

"It says here...ah! Destiny Islands Acadamy." I responded.

"...lovely. And third, if I'M gone, and you're GONE...who's Superior?"

"Excellent question, Seven." I didn't even think about it...who can I give such an important title. Oh, all I have left to choose from are the 'nose-pickers', so to say, of the Organization. Who can I trust with such a delicate position?

"Well, since I can't trust any of the older members left...or Demyx...I guess...oh Kingdom Hearts forgive me...ROXAS. YOU'RE the new Superior...you know, for now.

"Wow really? Me? Sweet. Superior Roxas...I like it, has a nice ring to it." He said proudly.

"Yeah kid, sure, whatever. Just... don't get carried away, okay?" I asked carefully.

"WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, wait a second. How could you pick Roxas? He's just a kid!" Larxene yelled.

"Larxene," I warned, "I stand by my desicion. And I don't trust you."

"Fine then, you don't trust me...and I SUPPOSE I wouldn't trust me either. But COME ON. Marluxia is LORD OF CASTLE OBLIVION. How could you-"

"Larxene," Said Marluxia, "I got this...COME ON. I'm LORD OF CASTLE OBLIVION. How could you not pick me?" (A/N: Interesting statement right? But you were expecting that, were you not? ;D.)

"I don't trust YOU either." I said simply.

"Uh, hello LORD OF CASTLE OBLIVION." He yelled motioning his hand back and forth under a little white nametag with the words: 'Lord of Castle Oblivion' on it.

"So?"

"Does this title mean NOTHING to you?" He yelled. I thought deeply about this for a good five seconds.

"Nope!" I said happily turning my back on the two and walking away. But then it hit me. Like a mac truck, like a ton of bricks, like a blow from Sora, NO...Riku...I WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE TO GO TO THIS DUMB SCHOOL TOO! What did I get myself into?

So, miserable as usual, I walked to my room and started packing my things. I didn't know what the hell just happened to me. Thoughts flew rapidly around my head.

_'What would it look like if I, The Superior of Organization XIII, was sent back to high-school for being a terrible principal? Pretty damn pathetic if you ask me. None of my lesser peers would respect me anymore...of course, they don't respect me NOW either. They nicknamed me Mansex for Kingdom Heart's sake!'_

I started shoving piles of things laying in my room into the suitcase. I had the thousand yard stare about me. I was just about spacing out when Saix peered his scarred head around the doorframe.

"Superior?" He asked me. "Are you okay?"

"Fine course Saix of I am." I responded twistedly.

"Oh..." Saix said quite confused. "I was just making sure. You seem a bit off."

"Makes what you think and that?" I crookedly answered.

"Welp, for starters, I hope you know you're packing the toaster oven." He said. I looked down. How the hell did THAT get in my room?

"Second, you're babbling like an idiot." He continued. The realization of what I was actually saying just came into play.

"And thirdly, sir, you appointed Roxas as The Superior."

"What do you mean? I was perfectly fine then!" I yelled. He blushed a bit.

"Psh! Of course you were Xemnas! I mean, heh, uh, h-how could I not love and FULLY RESPECT your descision?" (A/N: Now do you realize why Saix acts like a puppy? Because he's a moron.) There was a long akward pause in his monolouge. "Bye." He then slowly backed out and left.

"And I'M the one who's off..." I muttered as I folded a shirt.

*THE NEXT DAY :O*

I woke up to the sound of screaming...angry, muffled, screaming...joy. I walked into Vexen's room only to find Roxas and Xion hollereing at him. They didn't see me there.

"Why the hell not?"

"Because it's four in the morning you asses! Get some sleep! That's what everyone else in this castle is trying to do!"

"If they are, maybe you should take your own advice and stop yelling at childern, Vexen." I said.

"Oh! Superior I am so sorry that-! I mean..._oh, superior I am so sorry that-."_

"Would, you cut that out?" I whispered angrily chucking a pillow at him. He barely dodged it by ducking under the covers.

"And what are you two doing out of bed at a time like this?" I asked the young'uns.  
>(AN: Jesus I hate that word.)

"Well, you see here, I was commanding Vexen to invent a recipe for no-melt sea salt ice-cream bars before he left and he wouldn't do it!" Roxas shouted.

"SHHHH! Keep it down would you? Demyx already has a phobia of screaming clowns thanks to the movie 'IT'. I don't need you to goons giving him the fear of screaming Nobodies, he'd never work! I mean, it's not like he works anyway, but still! What was I talking about? Oh right! Why were YOU ordering MY scientist around...only I can do that!"

"Superior, if I may interject, I-"

"No you may not Vexen." I ordered.

"You told me I was The Superior!" Roxas wailed.

"Yeah, I told you, that you were the new Superior when I left...we haven't left yet." I looked at the clock. "We still have over three hours before we leave! Now you and Xion get your scrawny asses back to bed and- wait...why is Xion here?"

"Well, going off the whole "Superior" thing, since you have Saix with you ALL THE TIME, I should- ."

"Get in bed." I murmered through gritted teeth. I closed my eyes and pointed my finger down the hall. They ran out before I had a chance to bash their little faces in. When I reopened them, I saw Vexen with the covers pulled up to his upper lip.

"G-g-g-good n-n-n-night Superior." Vexen studdered.

"Goodnight Vexen." I said shutting the lights off.

"I shall see you on the morrow!"

Usually I'd figure, eh, I'm already awake, and there's absolutely no hope of me getting sleep at this point, lemme just get up and start my day already, but not tonight. I wanna get as much sleep as possible before I have to drive to school for the first time in about fifteen years.

Most of the time I just stared at the wall...hell, for about TWO AND A HALF HOURS I just stared at the wall. I finally got some sleep for about 30 minutes when of course...

'BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! GET UP DICKHEAD! GET UP DICKHEAD! BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! YOU'LL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL ASSHOLE!'

"What the hell?" Why was my alarm clock yelling at me? Most imporatantly, who the hell snuck into my room and did this?...Who else? Xigbar. That bastard.

I put my robe and slippers on and shuffled into the kitchen, bags heavy under my bloodshot eyes. Upon entering the kitchen, I found an over-joyed Xigbar talking to a depressed Saix; both enjoying coffee. As I went to pour some, Xigbar handed me a cup full and a smile.

Surprisingly, this wasn't unusual. For such party-hardy fuck-face, he was truly a morning person. And I really just wanted to smack that grin right off...surprisingly, this was not unusual either. And I wasn't about to waste the little precious energy I had left by scolding him. Besides, he wasn't planning on paying attention to me any time soon.

"Please tell me that you guys are ready and I don't have to-" I was cut off by Marluxia dolphin diving over the counter and the bloak then hoisting himself onto the island. He then put on an elaborate three minute broadway production on how he should be the Superior.

When he was was finished, I just smiled at him sweetly and simply said,

"No."

He groaned in aggrevation as he took Larxene's hand and she helped him down; they then stomped angrily away.

I looked at Xigbar who was literally rolling on the floor laughing. Saix just stared ahead in wonder and much confusion.

*Thirty Minutes Later Outside the castle in the old van*

I yawned slowly and stretched my arms and sighed heavily as I placed my hands loosely on the drivers wheel. (A/N: Many of you may be wondering why they didn't just use a corridor of darkness. Well you see, Xemnas has this thing about what he calls 'normality'...also, he's an idiot.)

We all (all being the seven of us traveling to the high school) sat in silence listening to a smooth jazz version of the black eyed peas album "The E.N.D". Until after about 3 minutes into the track of rock that body, Vexen spoke up.

"Superior...perhaps we should be going?"

"Ah! Yes! Thank you.." I said. All was going as planned so far, after that I had a feeling nothing would go wrong. (A/N: You can expect that's not going to last very long.) I sat; my hands tensely on the wheel. The other six members were chatting it up about how they were going to 'rule the school' (Xigbar). Others were disscussing how this could politically and socially ruin their lives (Zexion and Vexen)...as if they weren't ruined already. Suddenly it gets kind of quiet. Then...

"AHHHH! AHHHH! AHHH!" Shouts and screams sounded from inside and OUTSIDE of the car, for Marluxia, who was almost buck naked at the time, had jumped out of the bushes and landed spread-eagle on the windshield.

"MAKE ME THE SUPERIOR!" He shouted.

"QUICK! QUICK! TURN ON THE WIPERS! HURRY! BEFORE HE HAS A CHANCE TO SMASH THE WINDOWS!" Xigbar screamed. I responded as fast as my hands would allow. The wipers were going hard and strong, but so was Marluxia, he gripped the car for dear life and clentched the ends tightly. So tightly in fact, he was making dents in the decaying metal. He finally snapped when I sprayed the wiper fluid in his eyes, that or the siding that he was grabbing onto was rusting and broke away from stress; he blew into oblivion, landing on Larxene.

"Get off me you perv!" Growled Larxene.

I turned back to the rest of my Organization, who were all heavily panting as well. With a look of shock in their eyes, they were all thinking the same thing.

"What the FUCK just happened?" Saix yelled from the backseat. I turned back to the road and looked at him through the mirror.

"I don't know seven, I just don't know."

After hundreds of miles and thousands of cups of coffee, we finally pulled up to a huge brick building that towered over us like our own castle. I pulled into the parking lot and stuck my head out of the side window.

"Amazing..." I whispered. Zexion then shot up from his slumber.

"What's amazing- WHOA."

"Guys," I said hesitantly, "I think we're here."

(A/N: Thoughts and feelings so far? Please tell me? I PROMISE TO GOD that I won't make too many "part two"'s in this story ok? Just this once 'cuz I really wanna get my Halloween chapter in here before Halloween, which is in like 30 mins. from now! Anywhore, I just wanted to say that I will also post the dates for all my next chapters in this story, at the end of each chapter. Like i.e. right now. I promise you by Tuesday that chapter 2 will be done and posted by 11:59 eastern time... for those of you who don't really know what that is, lemme just say this, I live in Florida, figure it out. Okay well, I love you all, BYE!)


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